I am genuinely in a good part in my life right now. I feel happy with where I am right now as a woman and as an individual person. I grew a lot this past year and until now I didn’t realise that.
Around this time a year ago I was away from home since three months. There was a big happening back in my home country with people who became my friends the past few years. I only see them once a year for a week but man, when we see each other it feels so normal. That was the first year I was not there and it was hard. I skyped with them and I had to cry a lot. That whole week I felt bad and had a stomachache.
A year later I skype with them again. I’m a year older, became a stronger woman and accepted that I can’t be everywhere at the same time. I talked with everyone for more than an hour and I was really happy. It didn’t bother me so much that I was not there. I was walking on freaking Times Square and drinking my pumpkin soice latte like a real white normal bitch. I felt like a powerfull woman and I showed it off to everyone. Walking with my chin up and enjoying the polluted air of New York City.
In this past year I had many ups and downs. But if I look back right now I learned so much. But the best thing I learned is that it is okay to be me. Everyday I am accepting more aspects that forms my personality. I became that girl who wakes up and spends her first mines dancing on ‘truth hurts’ by Lizzo cause I am that 100% bitch. I became that girl who get dressed up for herself, just because I feel like wearing that cute dress and some make up. Oh, and yes I can put on make up now guys. Miracles do happen.
I became that girl who tell other woman that they look good in that other outfit. Cause it’s improtant to help each other up instead of down. I also realised that I am a girl who lives for others instead for herself. If I know that I have to do something for someone I will do it. But in my mind I’m not good enough to give myself a kick and do something because I like to do it. That is still something I have to figure out. I am also the girl who thinks that she will become instafamous but deep down she knows she will never be that but still do not want to accept that.
There is a lot I learned this year and still a lot that I need to fogure out. But I can tell you that on the moment that I am writing this, in the train going back home from New York City, I am genuinely in a happy stage of my life.